Today’s post is different. Tomorrow’s post may be as well, but let’s focus on today’s first.
This goes out to the ones who have spent their life looking for real and true love. Yes, I said it. I said it like I believe it really exists. As little girls especially, we grow up reading fairy tales. We read Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella where there is always a Prince Charming who comes to the rescue and always ends with a Happily Ever After. We as little girls grow up looking for our own Prince Charmings and happily ever after. We actually believe that it can happen – like in Peter Pan we clap our hands three times and say I believe, I believe, I believe and it will come true.
As we grow and go through boyfriends looking for our own Prince Charming our dreams are gradually shattered. This doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen for some because I have heard a few great real-life love stories. For most, however, it doesn’t happen this way.
I can tell you from personal experience that I’ve spent my whole life looking for my Prince Charming. I never asked for riches, though that would be nice. I never asked for fame, though I’ve heard it has its perks. I’ve only wished for ONE freaking man to love with all my heart and have that same love returned ten-fold.
I can tell you that in the relationship field I’ve been cheated on, lied to, had secrets kept from me, been physically and mentally abused (I won’t even go into how bad, but the movie Enough comes to mind), been stalked and the list goes on. I was even told once after saying things weren’t the same as at the beginning “A man does all that in the beginning to win you over till he gets you. You want a fairy tale and life just isn’t a Hallmark movie”.
What? Why not? Why can’t life be like a Hallmark movie? Why can’t a man love ONE woman with his entire heart and soul? Why can’t he continue to love her as much for the rest of his life as he does in the beginning? Why can’t honesty and truth be a factor in the relationship with openness? Why can’t he accept her love in all of its entirety for him and know that at least one person on the planet loves him with all of her heart? Why do so many men and women have to keep searching when they have something that could potentially be grand if they would give it their all for the rest of their lives. Why can’t couples talk and hear each other’s side without the animosity and arguments? Why can’t couples continue to be friends even after getting married? Why does one party always have to be shady until the other party decides that what is good for the goose is good for the gander?
There are some great relationships in this world. As said, I know of several. There are more relationships that are less than desirable and falsified for the world, some that are horrific as one of mine above and kept in embarrassment from others, but most are mediocre. A great majority of relationships are ones with couples who simply go through the everyday activities of life without too much over communication and that get lost in the mundane. How often do you and your significant other have date nights? How often do you go park and watch the moonlight and laugh? How often do you catch the other watching you and in awe because they love you so much? How often do you find them texting and not sharing their lives with you? How often do you take turns doing what the other enjoys even if it’s not what you enjoy? How often do you find them stroking your face with a loving hand? How often do you watch the rain and feel the breeze in your hair with their loving arms wrapped around you? How often do they write a poem for you now? How often do they fix a meal or do something to help you out without complaint or praise simply because they want to make you happy? How often do they get up off of the couch or bed and come into the other room and kiss you and say “I’m right on the other side of that wall loving you”? How often do they really listen to what you like/love/need and that is what you receive for a special occasion or no occasion at all?
To have a great relationship it is continual effort and listening. It’s continual love and support. It’s putting that individual first and foremost and compromises. It’s never getting so stuck in the mundane that you forget the magic. The magic that keeps that spark running into old age and into death. It’s being considerate and respectful. If you can’t give this and aren’t getting this…then you are with the wrong person. Sure, it may be better than the last as I felt for many years. You may not be getting beat on, but you can have and deserve that magic. Especially if you are one who gives it your all. I know there will always be jerks and the self-centered who deserve that in return. There are plenty like myself however who have been through so much, learned so much through life lessons, and held a strength and hope throughout that deserve so much in return for all of the love they give and are willing to give. I still believe in the fairy tale. I’m not naive as to think of pumpkins turning into carriages, castles, or roads paved in gold here on earth. I do believe that you can have a love that others will be envious of, want, and wish they had. A love that is never breaking. A love that is not faked on social media to impress others. A love that brings light to all of life’s dark moments. A love that is your best friend and the one person you can share anything and everything with without ridicule and judgment. A love that brings a balance of sweetness and danger. A love that will guide you to be a better version of you. A love that is fun. A love without secrets or lies. A love who would never intentionally hurt you. A love who encourages you. A love that if you had a spy device and secret powers you could look into their daily activities and electronics and know you could trust them with your every fiber? This can all be reversed to men who have been done wrong and want all of this in a relationship as well…or if you are in a same-sex relationship. Doesn’t matter.
I wish everyone could find and have this kind of love. A million magic moments shared for lasting memories before death. You can never take the money, or material things with you when you die. Most don’t even want your things unless worth something after your death. It’s those little moments shared that are the lasting memories and all you have to carry to your grave. Are you making them? Are you sharing them? Is someone sharing them back with you with the same passion? Are you creating your own fairy tale together despite the world and naysayers?
Peace and magic to you,